Orthopedic Fashion

by Carmelita Morales

Ever looked at an 83 year-old German lady and thought "Wow, she's so hot!" ? Yeah, me too! Er....

About 4 years ago when I was living in NY I happened upon a on a teeny shoe repair place on 7th Street between Ave A and 1st Ave. It was owned by a very ripe German man. He's a wiz at putting the 6-inch heels back on the shoes you trashed the night before while you were doing the running man in floor-booze 2-inches deep. While I was in there I noticed wayyyyy in the back he had 4 pairs of new shoes for sale. I couldn't believe my eyes, they were so awesome! And low and behold they were from Germany and they were OLD LADY ORTHOPEDIC SHOES. They were really cheap too so I bought 2 pairs in my size and wore them for the next 2 summers. I have never had more compliments on a pair of shoes before and all the downtown NY gals wanted to know where I got them. Yes, the secret orthopedic shoes were a hit. Of course I never told them where to find them.

Fast forward to this spring when I was in LA on the coolest strip across from Fred Segal's and this chic store had finally caught up with me. They had about 7 different style of German ortho's with the price jacked up about 200%. Oh well, it had to happen. I had to buy another 2 pairs.

I'm telling you ladies, get down with ortho's. You can walk from Barcelona to Madrid in these things and not even break your stride.

Killer Snake Sake

by Carmelita Morales

Anyone care for a shot? I found these jars of Habu snake sake while I was on the island of Okinawa in Japan. I really wanted to bring one home but then I thought of the scene I'd make at customs coming home and thought a photo might be best.

Bottles of (very expensive) "Habu sake" are sold in almost any alcohol store on the big island of Okinawa prefecture; the habu venom present in the sake (along with a dead snake on the bottom) is reputed to increase male virility. Some less expensive bottles have the venom but no snake in the bottom.

Tiger penis soup, snake sake, and viagra - all for 'increasing men's virility'. Aren't we happy to be girls? Just give me a vodka and red bull and vroom vroom, I'm virile!

More thunda from down unda - MIDNIGHT JUGGERNAUTS

by Carmelita Morales


The Midnight Juggernauts are three nice boys from Melbourne and I met them because they opened up for Bloc Party on their recent Australian tour. After the show in Sydney they decided to take us to a club that I can't remember the name of. Go figure. But the thing I DO remember is that the club is run by this dude who has no arms or legs. And he DJs with his awesome metal arms like something out of Mad Max. Why didn't I have my camera?! Arrrrgh.

But anyway, when I watched them on stage the lead singers voice reminded me of Sisters of Mercy but on the record it comes across as more David Bowie. Justice named the track "Into The Galaxy" as one of their top 5 fave songs of 2007. It's pretty far out man. Like stoney, electro spiders from mars. Check it
HERE

"Rocking" the cradle...

by Carmelita Morales

Because GIRLCORE consists of only hot teenage girls (in our minds anyway), I for one am very happy to finally hear some music from our 15 year old peers. All the way from Australia it's Operator Please!

I saw their video on a flight from Sydney to Brisbane and at first I thought it was a show on Nickelodeon or "Barney Gone Wild" - but no. They are for real and doing pretty well in Oz. Maybe because its filled with munchkins?

How I saw 'The Lion King'

by La Duenia

December 2004 found me doing an internship at a popular photographic gallery in central London. I was doing a postgraduate course at the time and was absolutely broke which meant I would spend the winter holiday stuck in London.

My job consisted mainly of being at the reception, running errands and working “closely” with the director’s PA. An all-rounder, as they say, but there wasn’t much to do as they had four other interns. So I devoted myself to spending endless afternoons at the front desk, doing my best at getting lunch for the fuzzy director who was a heavy drinker and cocaine user but, alas, allergic to wheat and dairy, so this task was often the most arduous I would encounter the whole day.

I had also just split from a French existentialist who was seven years older than me and so had recently discovered that I was actually supposed to go out and have fun. So I embraced this December full of opportunities and soon developed an ability to be constantly hungover and lead a more or less normal life.

The problem is this was my second December in London and I had never heard of the concept “office Christmas party”. In the other two countries where I lived before, work celebrations meant mainly food and presents –usually more food-.

So one evening we gathered at the director’s office to have a toast with several litres of vodka, wine and beer. Someone noticed we didn’t have ice and so I offered to go get some. After asking at several Oddbins, pubs and restaurants, I got hold of a big bag and went back to the gallery feeling triumphant and hoping that the toast would still be going on. By the time I’d got back the production assistant was photocopying her ass and the rest of the staff were smoking spliffs and snorting coke, all merrily gathered around the director’s desk. I was rewarded with £20 for my feat and invited to sit down and have a drink. Imagine, this was my third day at the gallery and I was a bit intimidated. And so I drank and did everything that was put in front of me. The director was very enthusiastic and kept topping up my glass with pure vodka (they had run out of cranberry juice).

The next thing I remember is myself stumbling out of the toilet and hugging an unidentified male who kept telling me I was beautiful. Then I found myself in a cab with one of the other interns who offered to take me home and generously tipped the cabbie whose car I vomited in.

The next morning I woke up and thanked my colleague whom I found sleeping on my sofa. He said, oh, it was nothing, and asked whether I would like to come and see The Lion King with him. I have a spare ticket and my friend stood me up, he said. You don’t have to pay, although it was £50. Ooh, I said. I really don’t feel very well. He said he had to go and that he’d call me later to see if I’d changed my mind.

I have to say he was very persuasive. Sitting through three hours of the Lion King with a full-blown sinusitis and the worst hangover ever is not easy. And on top of all I had to buy him dinner to thank him for all the wonderful things he’d done for me.

After my office Christmas adventure I fell horribly ill for two weeks. When I went back to the gallery everyone was overly nice to me. Rumour has it the director was I afraid I might sue them or go to the press, but I am really too nice to do that.

"Pelao" - go listen!

track by Isa GT

music by Rec Made from Colombia, vocals and lyrics by Isa GT

http://www.zshare.net/audio/baile-del-pelao-mp3.html

www.myspace.com/isagt

Currently obsessed about...

by Hoochie MaMaria

Paper Television by THE BLOW: amazing band from Portland, Oregon. One girl who sings, one boy who twiddles buttons, 12 amazing songs.

Elvis by These New Puritans: I've had this song on repeat for the past few days. You really have to listen to this oh-so-triangular band from Southend.

Cowboys Aren't Indians: I only have about three of their songs but am already in love with this band. Also check out The Unicorns, it was on their top 8 that I found them.

Foals: If you came to our last party, you'll already know how amazing these boys are live. If you didn't, then what's wrong with you!!!

New Kids on the Block: the original boyband. Pure pop genius.

The Teenagers: yeah I know I went on about them last time, but how can you not love them when their recent songs include one called "Starlett Johansson"?

Heroes: This show is actually amazing. Random people around the world (well, most of them American, obv) start getting supernatural powers. I know it sounds cheesy but when it's done in such a slick, Lost-style, what-the-hell-is-going-on kind of way it just works.

Skins on E4: it doesn't really matter if it seems a bit contrived. With all the teenage sex, drugs, romance and heartbreak going on, I just can't help myself from going on full-on internet searches for the next episode. Plus, how hot is Tony?

The L Word: Lesbian drama not just for lesbians. And even if you're straight you'll love Shane.

www.dailymotion.com, www.youtube.com, www.peekvid.com: Thanks to these guys I can watch all of the above.

Making friends and influencing people: part I the bouncing baffoon

by Arabgirl 15, Arabcore


Kay so I’m at an industry Christmas party, having it large with a bunch of advertising/production types... Meandering through the crowd I’m grabbed by a very excitable young man... we do the standard intro, “Hey, what's your name, what d’you do and where d’you work...?” Held captive and kinda bored, I agree to dance. T’was fun until he got even more excited and started bouncing up and down, I contemplated joining in, but a little voice in my head reminds me IM NOT A DICK...

Anywayz - soon after I make my escape… As boyo is about to leave he comes to bid me farewell, he’s off to South America till Feb, he says and promises to look me up on his return…

Cut to late Feb when I get the call… I agree to a lunch later that week. He wants curry I want low carb, blah blah, we decide on sushi, I offer a destination, he offers another and that we should meet beforehand at Patisserie Valerie on Wardour Street (before what hand I wonder we only have an hour?!)

Cut to day of meet, rushing to Oxford St I discover a voicemail “let’s meet at something something(?!) gallery on Old Compton Street” he says… It's 1.10, we only have till 2. I jump in a cab to OCS and pace the length of it in search of this unheard of gallery, repeatedly calling his VOICEMAIL... 1.27, still no gallery - still no call. I'm pissed and hungry... finally he grows some brain cells and leaves whatever non-receptive pit he’s in to call... “I’m in PATISSERIE VALERIE on Old Compton Street” he say’s... OMG - how on earth am I supposed to figure that out - fuckwit?

He comes to collect me and double WHAMMY he’s a minger… I obviously had my vodka specs on that night…

25mins left before boyo has to dash, looking around trying to find a venue… I make a suggestion – it gets ignored... hawk eye spots another patisserie, we go in, they sell PIZZA and CAKES, he looks at me like will you eat pizza, erm let me just ask Dr Atkin? I give him the killer look and offer him a choice, “You eat if you want…” I say. I don't know what I was expecting to hear but, a slice of pizza and 2 mint teas wasn't it...

He sits, all happy with himself saying "oh that’s just what I fancy..." So there I am sitting in a stupid Patisserie, starving, sipping DRIED mint tea, watching him eat pizza whilst waffling on and on about his trip to India (?), his stupid film, film festivals its entered, and then a little bit more about him... only point of interest being that we have a mutual friend - Christine... (The same Christine who later tells me that A) hot stepper actually lives with his girlfriend... and B) prides himself on wooing all the girls with his lightning moves...)

I get a window to speak so I mention a short film I’m making, he strums a few ideas my way being a DP an’all... 3 minutes pass…

Finally time is up, he gets up to pay, the bill’s £8... He turns to me, flustered and admits he’s £6 short?! Go figure... he’s lucky that I’m better than this and I give him the cashola... Not content with his current performance, he attempts to justify his pikey-ass by delivering the line "oh well I guess my ideas weren't free after all" snorting gleefully…

A few airkisses and promises of future encounters later, I manage to make my escape AGAIN - still hungry and pissed off I go to the cashpoint to get money TO BUY MY LUNCH…

Late, I arrive back at the office ready to forget the whole thing – and what do I find? An email from dickDP@google.com, ”We were so busy talking concepts I forgot to ask, who out of your lovely directors you could hook me up with?”
Mint tea anyone?

The Swedish Gym - perfect hangover remedy?

by Raphaele Tosca

What’s the best remedy against the following days of hangovers? Sport!
It eliminates toxins and airs the brain without asking too much from it... And the solution to save us? The Swedish gym!
This particular style of gymnastics, very popular in Sweden, arrived in France a few years ago where it exploded this year. We are all crazy about it.
The movements are simple and accessible to all, but the method behind it, worked out by a Swedish kinesitherapist in 1978, is very serious.
In a one hour lesson it connects all that is recommended for that difficult morning-after-the-night-before: stretchings, heart work, muscle building and relieving, all of that to the sound of pop tunes, disco music, new wave...
We leave there soaked and with bright red, totally flushed faces.
The plus of this practice? No mirror, the instruction is held at the centre of the room and the participants around. That avoids the competitive spirit and narcissism. You should not be agoraphobic because we can be 100 people per lesson!!! It is rather funny to see...
In short, here is a lovely regressive and relatively not expensive (quarterly subscription 75€, 10€ per lesson) workout to practise with your girlfriends which is lively and fun and can save us from the hangover from the night before and make us release all our stress !
There are rooms in all the districts of Paris and lessons at any hour.
I don’t know if you can find this practice in your country yet but if not I am sure it will come very soon….

www.gymsuedoise.com

By Alice Bron

Says he was driving in his car
But ow he didn't get far
Felt like he was going to fall
And crashed into a wall

Oscar has a scar
A very scary scar

The night was noir
He saw a falling star
Was it December
He doesn't remember

Oscar has a scar
A very scary scar

But now we're in a bar
Hearing a guy play guitar
Talking about the past
Everything went so fast

Oscar has a scar
A very scary scar

Wanna make music with me? Contact me on www.myspace.com/allu