Blood Spot

My miniature sausage dog, Minnie has just started her first period. I look forward to mood swings, irrational behaviour (such as her eagerly trotting after boys who are not even worth a quick sniff of the butt) and her accusatory stare of my betraying the sista hood because I won’t allow her to snuggle up and fall asleep on my latest shift dress.

I wish I could be more supportive of my baby girl as she quickly ascends into woman hood. But periods suck and that’s all there is to it. Boys, as far as I’m concerned, if we were ever to have a debate to end all debates on the battle of the sexes – that would be your trump card. Play it however and us girls would be so offended (there is a damn good chance there’ll be a hormonal disco occurring, as we tend to sync our cycles together) that we’ll quickly adopt a more literal outlook on the whole battle of the sexes idea.

Essentially, this is our lot and there are some rough times ahead for my little sausage. As I’m sure you are aware, there are plenty of medical ways to help ease the need to hysterically cry whilst watching Neighbours once a month. If like Minnie however, you’d rather not be sterilised / take the pill / have a chip in your paw / and hate the fact that you can’t sit down for a week after the nurse injects you in the ass, there’s still hope. So if you need a little help to fight off the crazed woman from hell syndrome every 28 days or so, here are some things the NHS would recommend you give a go. (Unfortunately for Minnie, the Veterinary World still has some work to do).

Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine)
Agnus castus fruit extract
St John’s Wort
Red Clover
Sunshine (Here’s hoping).